


Talk to me

by Hakyeons_Starlight



Category: VIXX
Genre: Hakyeon just wants to help, How does tagging work?, M/M, Memory Loss, Mute Taekwoon, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, mentions of bullying, neo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23821717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hakyeons_Starlight/pseuds/Hakyeons_Starlight
Summary: Taekwoon lives in Wonshik's house. After being bullied for years, his parents decided to give him a homeschool teacher. Due to Taekwoon never getting out of his house, he developed a social phobia, what makes it almost impossible to talk to strangers and people in general.One day he and Wonshik get in a fight, and the elder runs away from their house. On the streets he meets Hakyeon, who decides to help the poor guy. But after some time something happens that changes everything. How are Taekwoon and Hakyeon going to fix this?>>Disclaimer<<I don't know anyone with a social phobia and everything I've written is how I think it might be like. I have no real knowledge about it nor do I wish to hurt or spread negativity about people with social phobias. I'm sorry if what I've written is unlike the actual diagnosis or symptoms.
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Jung Taekwoon | Leo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> So I decided to crosspost this story from Wattpad, though I'm editing some things! I don't know how I thought that writing this story in 1st person was a good idea when I started... 
> 
> It's still a work in progress, I have about 5 chapters done now but I suck at finishing stuff so it might take a few years for me to update lol - I'm serious, I think I started this fanfic in 2018 or smth and I'm not even halfway...
> 
> Anyway, here's the first chapter, I hope you guys like it!

"Hey Taekwoon, I have to go get something from the supermarket, are you joining me?" Taekwoon heard Wonshik behind him. The elder directly shook his head furiously. He was way too scared of people and interactions, in a supermarket it would be even worse because everyone is hurrying to get back home quickly. Not his favourite place to be, to say it like that.

"Aw, come on Taekwoon, you'll have to get over this one time! You can't live like this for the rest of your life!"

"I can live however I want," Taekwoon fired back. He didn't like where this was going.

"Then let me help you, we'll get over it together…"

"I said I don't want it! I'm fine like this!" Taekwoon turned towards his best friend as he got up from his chair.

"Why are you so fucking stubborn?! Do you really not want to be able to walk over the streets normally, go to a store or have a normal conversation with someone?!" Wonshik raised his voice, and Taekwoon followed.

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T!! I already said, I don't need your help! I don't need it and I don't want it!" he shouted back.

"WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?! GOD, I UNDERSTAND WHY SANGHYUK LEFT YOU!!!"

"..."

That last sentence hit Taekwoon right in his heart, and tears started forming in his eyes.

Without thinking he turned around and started walking, his feet taking him to the front door. He heard Wonshik calling for him, and for a short moment Taekwoon thought he heard sincere regret in his voice, but he ignored it.

_Not like he cares. Right now every place is better than here._

Taekwoon opened the door and stepped outside for the first time since... he didn't even know anymore, he lost track of the time that passed after around 63 days or something. The only thing he knew is that it had been years.

Taekwoon closed the door behind him and started running as the tears spilled from his eyes. How could he have been so stupid to let this happen?

He ran and ran. Where, he didn't know, didn't care. It was all unimportant anyway. He felt a slight ache in his leg muscles, but he ignored it. Right now was not the time to focus on that.

  
Suddenly he collided with a hard object. He slightly stumbled backwards and looked up. Nevermind, it was a person he ran into.

A very handsome one at that.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice you there. Are you alright?" The stranger asked. Taekwoon just stared at him, his eyes huge and his body paralyzed. He hadn't been this close to someone except Wonshik for who knows how many years, and the black-haired male felt his anxiety boiling up again.

_Oh fuck, not now!_

Taekwoon’s body started shaking as breathing became harder. The stranger stepped towards him and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, is everything okay?" He asked with a sincere voice, but Taekwoon only heard him as if he were a far distance away. His mind was overflowing with thoughts and his panic attack was only making it way worse.

"I-I'm s-sorry…" he tried saying, but what escaped his mouth was not more than a faint whisper as he started running again, this time preventing himself from bumping into someone again. He sprinted to an alley he used to go to when he was feeling down and leaned his back against the cold wall. His breath was shaky and everything was hazy from the tears that were non-stop running down my face. He slid down the bricks and wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling them up to his chest as he let all his anger, frustration and anxiety out in silent sobs.

"H-hey…" He heard a soft voice, and he recognized the voice. It was the male from before. Taekwoon figured he’d followed him. He looked up at the stranger for a very short time, before hiding his tear-stained, red face from him in his arms. He heard the other approaching, and then he felt his hand on my back. The black-haired male immediately flinched and moved away.

"O-oh, sorry…" the guy mumbled.

For a few minutes there was just an awkward silence, until the stranger started talking again.

"I'm sorry, I haven't even introduced myself properly... I'm Cha Hakyeon, what's your name?"

"J-Jung T-T-Taekwoon…" Taekwoon softly answered, finding difficulty in forming words.

"You don't talk much, do you?" The male, now known as Hakyeon, asked with a soft voice. Taekwoon shook his head. For some reason, he didn't know if it was his voice, his way of talking and forming sentences, his looks or something completely else, but he felt like he could trust the unfamiliar guy.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Hakyeon asked, and Taekwoon shrugged. He didn't know, what would a stranger be able to do for someone with a social phobia?

"I don't know if it works with you, but I always calm down when I listen to someone talking about irrelevant things, just simple, short stories. Can I… can I try that with you?" Taekwoon nodded slightly, and he heard shuffling next to him, figuring Hakyeon was getting comfortable on the hard ground. Then he started talking again with his soft voice.

"So ehm… there was this one time a few years ago where I met a little girl, and she was crying, so I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she lost her favourite ring. It was kind of cute, but I felt sorry for her. I then brought her to the store behind us, where they had a lot of stuff for children, and I bought her a new ring. It was pink with a small, light blue, shiny thing in it, like a fake diamond. She really liked it. I still meet her sometimes, we are good friends now although she is a lot younger, but I watch over her often when her parents aren't home. She kept the ring I gave her and she still has it. Isn't that cute?"

Even though Taekwoon found it really weird, he did actually calm down a bit. He smiled an almost unnoticeable smile when Hakyeon ended his story, nodding in reply to his question. The stranger - was he still a stranger? - kept talking for some reason, and after a few stories Taekwoon lost track of time and it was already dark.

"Hey, it's late and pretty cold already, I have to go home now. I think it's the best if you go home too, I don't want you freezing to death tonight," Hakyeon said as he got up from the ground. Taekwoon bit his lip, not knowing if he should really go back or not. Then he looked up to see the tanned male walking away, looking at Taekwoon and waving shortly before he turned around the corner, out of his sight. The black-haired male sighed and looked down. He was alone again.

_'No, you've always been alone. No one likes you anyway, now they know your secret.'_

Tears started forming in his eyes again as he tightly shut them, pushing his palms against his ears to try blocking out the voice in his head.

_'Pathetic, as if that works. I'm always here. At least I directly tell you the truth._

_Unlike Sanghyuk.'_

Sanghyuk…

\---

_"Sanghyuk, where are you?!" Taekwoon shouted as he looked around in the living room. He was playing hide and seek with Sanghyuk. He turned around when he heard a sound, and saw a door which moved just a tiny bit. He smirked, thinking he’d found Sanghyuk._

_Taekwoon directly ran through the doorway, his feet leading him to a small hallway. There were two doors, one closed and one slightly opened. Taekwoon went to the open door and pushed it further so he could enter the dark room. He flicked the light switch..._

_Nothing. Only darkness._

_Taekwoon sighed as he walked further into the room. "Sanghyuk? Are you here?" He called out. Useless of course. He walked further, his arms stretched to prevent himself from bumping into the objects in the room, which were hidden in a black blanket of darkness._

_"Sanghyuk?"_

_Suddenly a heavy weight landed on his back, wrapping itself around his throat and waist. Taekwoon screamed, not knowing what kind of monster was attacking him._

_"Haha, I scared you!" A familiar voice sounded, and then Taekwoon came back to his senses. Sanghyuk was laughing loudly._

_"Not fair, I couldn't see anything!" the black-haired protested, walking back out of the room with the younger clinging onto him. Taekwoon held Sanghyuk's thighs to prevent him from falling down as he walked to the living room, but then he turned around and threw the youngest on the couch, turning back to him with a pout._

_"That's not how the game works, Sanghyuk, I have to find you!" Taekwoon said. The younger laughed at that._

_\---_

_Suddenly the surroundings changed._

_"Yah, Sanghyuk! Give me my food back!" A teenage version of Taekwoon shouted after Sanghyuk as he got up from the ground. Sanghyuk started running, and Taekwoon chased him across the field. He managed to grab Sanghyuk’s arm, pulling him back, but he’d calculated his own speed wrong, and as he tried to stop, he stumbled and fell down onto the grass, taking Sanghyuk with him. The younger landed on top of him, but as Taekwoon was quick to react, he immediately switched their positions, pinning Sanghyuk down. They both breathed heavily as Taekwoon straddled Sanghyuk's lap._

_Taekwoon’s laugh turned into a smirk as he moved his hands to the other's stomach, and then he started attacking his sides. Sanghyuk bursted out laughing, trying to push Taekwoon's arms away, but his laughs made him too weak to do so._

_"T-Taek... h-hyung... stop... p-please...!" Sanghyuk shouted in between fits of laughter. Taekwoon stopped tickling and quickly got off him, running away. The youngest got up, shouting his name as he followed. The tables had turned._   
_\---_

_Then the environment turned darker. Taekwoon found himself in a classroom._

_The door of the room opened, and Sanghyuk entered. He closed the door behind him again and sat down on a table. "You wanted to tell me something?" He asked, looking at Taekwoon._

_"Y-yes..." Taekwoon stuttered. "I have to tell you something, and I guess now is the right time..." The black-haired teen sighed._

_Sanghyuk looked at Taekwoon curiously. "What is it hyung?"_

_"I-I'm- wait, you're not gonna leave me, right?" Taekwoon asked cautiously. The youngest shook his head, smiling. "Of course not, I'm your best friend!"_

_"Okay... well... I've been keeping this for myself for a long time, but as you're my best friend, I wanted to tell you first..._

_Sanghyuk, I- I'm gay..."_

_It was silent for a few moments. Taekwoon could read the shock from Sanghyuk's face._

_"A-ah, really?" Sanghyuk broke the silence. Taekwoon nodded, looking down. The other walked towards him, patting his shoulder._

_"It's alright, your secret is safe with me," he said. Taekwoon smiled._

_\---_

_The classroom then turned into the school grounds. As Taekwoon walked towards the entrance of the school, he could see the stares of the other students around him, making him uncomfortable. Everyone was looking at him with disgusted or judging gazes. Suddenly Taekwoon was pinned against the lockers by one of his seniors. He grabbed the younger’s arm and pushed him into a nearby janitor's closet. He closed the door and locked the two of them inside._

_The tall male started touching Taekwoon, pressing their chests together as Taekwoon stood against the wall. His hands roamed over the shorter's body, who tightly shut his eyes and turned his head away._

_"You want this, don't you? Isn't this what you love? Guys touching you in inappropriate places? That's what gays want after all," the guy growled, his hand grabbing the younger’s crotch. A tear slowly ran down the latter’s cheek, Taekwoon shivering under the older's hands._

_Suddenly Taekwoon heard a loud ringing noise. The older male grunted and stepped back, glaring at the black-haired teen._

_"You're lucky this time, faggot."_

_Then he turned around and quickly left the small room. Taekwoon fell down onto the ground, hugging his knees to his chest. He felt disgusting._

_\---_

_Taekwoon made his way towards a guy standing a few meters away… that guy was Sanghyuk._

_"S-Sanghyuk... I-I thought you wouldn't tell anyone..." Taekwoon softly mumbled, looking down._

_"Sorry, it slipped," the younger answered, like he didn’t care._

_"W-why didn't you keep my secret to yourself?" Taekwoon lifted up his head, looking at the blonde boy in front of him._

_"I already told you, I accidently told some people. Nothing to do about it," Sanghyuk shrugged._

_"Don't you care? Sanghyuk, you're my best friend, h-how could you-"_

_"I'm not your friend."_

_"W-what...?" Taekwoon tensed up._

_"We're not friends, ‘hyung’. I don't want to be friends with a faggot. You're disgusting. Don't look for me again." Sanghyuk then turned around and walked away, leaving the elder behind._

\---

Taekwoon opened his eyes, breathing shakily as tears ran down my cheeks. He buried his face in his arms, letting sobs wreck his body.

Why? Why did he have to relive his past all over again?

Just… why??

Taekwoon’s cries were silent, but his whole body shook with every sob as he remembered everything that happened ten years ago. The bullying, the pain, both physical and mental, but most of all, the feeling of losing his best friend, the feeling of betrayal.

As time passed he got more and more tired, and that night he fell asleep crying in the dark alley.


	2. Chapter 2

It was snowing and Hakyeon was walking back home from the park. He always loved the snow and the children playing with it. He could watch it for hours. 

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted, because he saw a slightly familiar figure in an alley he recognized too. He looked better and saw that it was Taekwoon, curled up in a ball with snow surrounding him and snowflakes in his hair. Hakyeon could see he hadn’t moved away from where he’d last left him. He directly ran towards the other.

“Taekwoon-ssi! What are you still doing here? It’s snowing, you should be home!” Hakyeon started panicking when he touched Taekwoon’s hand, which was ice cold. Taekwoon slowly looked up, his face even paler than before. ‘ _ Shit,’ _ Hakyeon thought as he knelt down in front of the quiet guy.

“Taekwoon, why didn’t you go home? It has been three days!” Had he really stayed here for three whole days without warmth or food?

Taekwoon took some time to respond to the question, and Hakyeon patiently waited. 

“D-d-don’t… h-have… h-home…”

Hakyeon became silent. How could he not have a home? Did he get kicked out of his house? Why would anyone do that? Taekwoon seemed like a sweet guy. Whatever the reason, Hakyeon couldn’t let him stay here, the cold would only get worse.

“Do you wanna come to my house? You can warm up there if you want.”

First he noticed Taekwoon’s eyes widening, but then he saw him thinking, biting his lower lip before he made a decision and slightly nodded his head. Hakyeon smiled warmly at him and took his arm, moving slowly so as to not scare him. Taekwoon was still hesitant, but he got up anyway. Or was it from the cold, that his limbs were frozen? Hakyeon pulled him up gently before looking at him with a question in his eyes.

“Can I put your arm around my shoulder? I don’t want you to fall,” he asked with a soft voice. He could feel Taekwoon tense up, but against the tanned male’s expectations, he gave a very small nod. Hakyeon slowly lifted Taekwoon’s arm up and let it rest around his shoulders, his hand resting on Taekwoon's back as they started walking. Hakyeon could feel the other tremble, and knowing he was very uncomfortable, he tried to speed up a bit so they would reach his house faster.

Hakyeon let go of Taekwoon’s waist as he grabbed the keys to open the front door, and he gently pushed the taller guy forward a bit. He hesitantly walked in. Hakyeon followed him and closed the door, waiting for Taekwoon to take off his shoes as he did the same, then hanging his coat on the coat rack. The brunette then led him to the living room.

“Please sit down, I’ll get you something warm,” He said as he turned to walk upstairs to his room. He took a big, fluffy blanket from his closet and returned with it folded on his arm. He unfolded it as he approached the couch, and placed it around the silent guy’s shoulders. He only looked back at him, not speaking. Hakyeon sat down in a chair opposite of him. 

“So, you don’t really like talking, do you?” The other shook his head, looking down. 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. Uhm…” Hakyeon said, thinking about how to comfortably communicate with him. “Do you have a phone?” Taekwoon responded in the same way as before, giving Hakyeon a negative answer. “Okay, wait here. I have a spare phone somewhere around here,” he said as he got up and walked over to a drawer, opening it and looking through the mess inside it. After a few seconds the brunette found it, in one of the back corners. He tried turning it on, and the screen lit up. The battery was still on 32%, so they’d manage for some time. Hakyeon took his own phone as well and went back to the couch, sitting down next to Taekwoon. He handed him the other phone after opening WhatsApp. Yes, Hakyeon had two different phones with two different phone numbers. He once broke something in his old phone and now he couldn’t get his SIM card out of it anymore, and he was too lazy to go to a repair store, so he just bought a new one. 

Hakyeon sent Taekwoon a message. 

**-Today-**

_ Are you more comfortable if we talk like this? _

_ Yes, thank you. _

_ No problem :) _

_ So, why were you still outside in the cold? Did you stay  _

_ there  _ _ the entire time? _

_ I had a fight with my best friend, and I ran away, but I  _

_ lived in his house, so I didn’t have any place to go after I  _

_ left. _

_ Oh wow, are you alright though? _

_ Yes I’m fine, thank you. _

_ Can you tell me a bit about yourself? _

_ Yes, sure. There is not much interesting about me  _ _ though. _

_ Doesn’t matter! _

_ Ehm… okay, my full name is Jung Taekwoon, I’m from  _

_ November 1990, and I don’t talk much because I have a  _

_ social phobia so I’m uncomfortable around strangers. _

Hakyeon felt overwhelmed. He'd wanted to help Taekwoon because he seemed like he needed someone, but Hakyeon hadn’t thought it was that serious. The social phobia did explain a lot, and he wished he could do something about it.

_ Can you tell me a bit more about your phobia? I’m trying  _

_ to look from your  _ _ point so  _ _ I can understand you better. _

_ Well, because of my phobia I never left the house and I  _

_ was homeschooled,  _ _ and I only talked with my best friend  _

_ and roommate. He was the only one who  _ _ was actually  _

_ nice to me when I got bullied, but he got bullied because  _

_ he stayed  _ _ around me…  _

_ So anyway, he was the only one I got close to because I  _

_ don’t trust anyone else  _ _ enough. _

_ But… then why did you let me talk to you? _

_ I don’t know, but I couldn’t turn you down, and for a  _

_ stranger you were really  _ _ nice to me so I guess I thought  _

_ I could trust you. _

_ Well, we’re not really strangers anymore, are we? _

_ You’re right. _

_ Do you want me to help you with your phobia? _

_ How do you want to do that? _

_ I have something in mind, I hope it will help you.  _

_ Thank you. _

_ No problem, together we’ll get you over it, alright? I’ll try  _

_ everything for  _ _ you,  _ _ no  _ _ matter what. _

_ By the way, to give you some information as well, my  _

_ name is Cha Hakyeon,  _ _ and I was born in June 1990. I was  _

_ bullied too, because of my skin color.  _ _ When  _ _ I finished my  _

_ education I started focusing more on dancing. That’s  _

_ everything  _ _ I can think of at the moment, if there’s  _

_ anything you want to know, just ask  _ _ me, okay? _

_ I will.  _

_ Do you like hot chocolate? _

_ Yes. I don’t drink it often though. _

_ Shall I make you some? _

_ You don’t have to. I don’t want to be a burden. _

Hakyeon pouted at the screen. 

_ You’re not a burden to me, I’d gladly do it. Wait here,  _

_ okay? _

He got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, quickly warming some chocolate milk for Taekwoon. He returned with the mug in his hand, handing it to the younger. 

“Be careful, it’s hot,” Hakyeon warned him. 

“T-thank y-you…” Taekwoon said softly. 

Hakyeon sat down, watching the black-haired slowly take sips from the hot liquid. When he was done, he placed it on the coffee table. 

“Wanna watch something?” Hakyeon motioned to the television. Taekwoon nodded, and the tanned male took the remote control, starting up Netflix. As the application loaded, Hakyeon gave the device to the male next to him, so he could choose a movie. Taekwoon went to the list of saved movies to watch and scrolled through it, sometimes reading the summary. They were all horror movies, because Hakyeon liked them a lot. He thought Taekwoon would like them too, he didn’t seem like someone who’d get scared easily - apart from social contact then. 

Taekwoon selected one of the movies, reading the description and watching the trailer. When the video ended, Hakyeon looked up at him. 

“Do you wanna watch this?” Taekwoon nodded as an answer, and he started the movie. 

Somewhere halfway through, Hakyeon got up to go to the toilet, trying to be quick so he wouldn’t miss a lot. When he returned to the living room, Taekwoon sat in a different position from earlier. He had his legs pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He jumped slightly when Hakyeon closed the door, looking up with wide eyes. Was he scared?

Hakyeon sat down again, and it was now clear that Taekwoon was trembling slightly. Hakyeon smiled softly at him, and patted his shoulder, reassuring him that it was just a movie. He wanted to comfort the younger more, but there wasn’t much he could do because of Taekwoon’s dislike towards skinship.

When the credits appeared on the screen, Hakyeon stretched his limbs before getting up from the couch. 

“Let’s go upstairs, alright? I’ll prepare your room and you can take a shower.” 

Taekwoon followed as the brunette walked up the stairs and into his room. Hakyeon gave the taller a towel and some clothes to sleep in, showing him the adjacent bathroom. Hakyeon guessed the clothes would fit, as they didn’t have much of a height difference. The tanned male then went to the guest room further down the hall and prepared the bed for Taekwoon. He then made his way back and threw himself on his bed, waiting for Taekwoon to finish showering. 

When he finally came out of the bathroom with damp hair and clean clothes, Hakyeon led him to the guest room. Taekwoon slowly sat down on the bed, hesitant, like he didn’t know if he was allowed to touch anything. 

“It’s okay, you can do whatever you want,” Hakyeon chuckled. “It’s your room now. I figured you might want to stay here until you find somewhere else where you can live.” 

“I-if that’s p-possible… t-thank you…” the other male responded softly, bowing his head. 

“By the way, I’ve thought a bit more about the things concerning your social phobia, and I’d like to start your ‘training’ tomorrow, is that alright? I figured skinship is the best way to have you open up a bit more because that could happen everywhere, and you’d have to get used to it.”

Taekwoon gulped and looked down, clearly uncomfortable

“Don’t worry, we’ll start off easily, how about we begin with a high-five? Are you okay with that?”

The younger gave a small nod, and Hakyeon smiled softly.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow! Good night, Taekwoon.”

“G-good night…”

Hakyeon walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, jumping back on his bed as soon as he got to his own room. As he fell asleep, his mind drifted off to Taekwoon, and how Hakyeon hoped he could help him get over his fear of contact. He silently promised himself he would try his very best.

For Taekwoon.


End file.
